On Saturday, November 17th, I had a feeling that Sunday, November 18th was going to be a beautiful day. So, I said a prayer that night and asked God to make sure that he winked at me. For some of you that may not know, a God-wink is an event or personal experience, often identified as a coincidence, so astonishing that it is seen as a sign of divine intervention, especially when perceived as the answer to a prayer.

My Sunday started out by meeting our church’s missions’ team at the 9 am service. We had just returned from a 2-week medical missions’ trip to Liberia Africa and Ghana Africa (pictures below). The sermon my pastor taught was on love, and part of the speech focused on the implications of loving a person who is arrogant. For some reason, my ears perked up. In short, he defined arrogance as the need to be acknowledged for something that does not exist. It is to have an exaggerated view of yourself. We will come back to the relevance of this shortly……just follow me.

 

  

Fast forward to my afternoon.

I purchased tickets to @Myleik Teele’s #MyTaughtYou Live Podcast back in August. If you’ve never heard of Myleik Teele, then let this article be your introduction to her. You will thank me later lol. I’ve been following Myleik for almost one year. I started listening to her #MyTaughtYou podcast a few months back, and I’ve never regretted it. The live podcast began at 12:00 pm on Sunday, November 18th. You can only imagine my surprise when during her event she starts to talk about arrogance and the unhealthy effects of this trait in entrepreneurship. Can you say God wink lol? How could both she and my pastor be discussing the effects of the same trait, at 2 separate events, on the same day? She said that we walk around with fake or faux business success. We meet with each other and say that our businesses are doing great, but in reality, we only made one sale this month.

In true Myleik fashion, she lovingly, but directly said, “Sis…. if you’re only making one sale a month then your business is not doing well. That’s your arrogance speaking, and your ego is the reason why you haven’t mastered your craft yet. You don’t want suck for a bit and put in the work to get better.” Thanks, Myleik for putting on such a wonderful event. Your wisdom is appreciated. #MarathonMindset

Now here is where things get interesting. After my pastor finished his analysis on arrogance, he gave us an example of the difference between arrogance and confidence. He said that an arrogant person is the one who walks into the room and sucks up all of the attention. The room moves with them. They walk in and have little regard for what was occurring before their arrival. “The confident person,” he said, “is the one that can shine when it’s time, but with the same satisfaction, stand behind the scenes and hold the mic or camera for the next person when it’s their time to shine.” Unbeknownst to me at the time of his sermon, an opportunity would soon arise for me to examine myself as it relates to this arrogance vs. confidence dilemma.

At Myleik’s live taping, I sat right beside a popular nail artist. During the Q & A portion, several women had a question, my neighbor and I included. When it came time for Myleik to choose a girl to ask a question in our section, my neighbor was so excited that she blurted out comments of praise to the panel. She began to thank them for their last statement because it resonated with what she’d been thinking about our children’s education. My neighbor didn’t have the mic when she started speaking, so one of Myleik’s assistants passed the mic to me to give it to her. Everyone wanted to hear what she was saying. However, she was so in the zone, that she didn’t notice that I was trying to give her the mic to project her voice. As such, I decided to hold it for her.

At that moment, I was reminded of what my pastor said a few hours earlier, “A confident person is the one who can shine when it’s time, but also receives equal satisfaction from being behind the scenes and holding the mic for the next person when it’s their time to shine.

I smiled on the inside and patiently held my neighbor’s mic until she came out of her zone and grabbed the mic herself.

I didn’t get a chance to ask my question or make my statement, but I took it as a sign that at that moment, I was the support for her. The joy and peace that I felt from playing my part at that moment showed me that I am well on my way. I am well on my way.

Now if you’re analytical like I am, then you can also see this same situation from another perspective. In the world we live in there is an eat or be eaten mentality. This mindset is permeated throughout our culture. As an attorney, I have had to lead my clients into various legal battles and no offense,  the “sit back and hold the mic for the other person mentality” would have landed them in jail or with serious financial consequences. Someone could be reading this article and think, “Girl, Bye! You just missed out on your chance to make it ahead or be heard. If you continue operating in this manner, then Lyndosha, you and your brand will be left behind. You should always get yours.”

While I understand that mode of thinking, I have to disagree. You see, I am a fan of a different method when it comes to deciding how best to handle the eat or be eaten dilemma. I respond according to what each situation demands. When it’s time to be aggressive and move forward, then I will. However, when it’s time to sit back and support another as they are eating, I will do that too. The eat or be eaten aggressive method is often rooted in a poverty mentality and does not work for all cultures and environments. One aspect of growth and maturation is knowing when and how to respond and interact in various situations. You can’t be effective and have only one approach when it comes to moving ahead in life. Nevertheless, let me know your thoughts about the difference between confidence and arrogance below! I’d love to hear from you.